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Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Living the Life

Every now and again I grab a cup of coffee early in the morning, and I sit and watch as the the darkness is slowly replaced by soft sunlight, and have this moment of peace. It's amazing, but if  I had never became ill I would have never have done anything like this before. I never had the time. Sad that it took a life changing experience for me to appreciate the sunrise. God has a way of making us see things  that we tend to overlook. Perhaps that's why  he made me go through these hardships, so I would stop and look at what beauty was right there all along. Whatever the reason may be,  I'm glad I got to witness it.

I realize now that I was so busy with my life, that I really didn't have time to live it. That's where I screwed up. I was missing my own life. I suppose now in hind sight I needed to find balance, and because I never did my life suffered. I put myself last, and by doing that I failed to live up to what life had to offer. What I learned is that when I stopped living and just went through the motions of my everyday drudgery, that my EVERYTHING was affected. My health, my marriage, my job, my faith, my judgement and most of all my sense of self.

I wasn't wounded I was numb. I think that's why I became ill, my body tried to tell me when it was time to slow down. There were signs, but I chose to ignore them. I had to prove that I was stronger than anyone else and diabetes didn't hold me back. So I would do what everyone else was doing and act as though nothing was wrong. It was normal for me to keep going and to be as strong as I could be. Then it all came to a screeching halt. My declining health and facing the possibility of dying changed everything.

My days no longer run toghther in an unending meaningless line of nothingness, they are now filled with joy happiness understanding and at times hardships. I feel them and experience them wholeheartedly and enjoy every minute as a gift. The gift of life, the gift of a second chance not to take my life for granted.

And after everything I went through, I sit....I sit  and watch the sunrise and I'm thankful and blessed to do so.


Saturday, September 20, 2014

Keep Moving Forward

Every now and again we hit a bump in the road. Its not the bump that we hit as much as how we handle the bump. I'm learning to enjoy the ride and not let issues that are beyond my control creep into my mind, and set up camp there. Although it is hard to do I'm getting better with practice, and it really does make me feel better about myself and the power I have to let go. The only thing you can control is your attitude, and it will make or break you. I constantly say to stay positive and keep moving forward (its harder to hit a moving target)  its been my mantra for a while now and at times my sanity.

 Moving forward is a concept of change, whether we like it or not things change. Now you can lay down and play dead like a possum or you can be a warrior for yourself and keep a positive and strong attitude and KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

Its clearly all up to you, how you want to deal with your situation. As a spiritual person I believe the best tool to use is your mind. Your mind can harness power we have yet to even understand, you will learn by letting go of the negative how resilient your mind and spirit will be. You can do so much more when you believe in the power of your own self. Everything I have ever been through I had a positive mind set and inner strength to push me farther than even I thought I could go.

That's what I'm all about positive mind, positive spirit, and trusting your instincts. You must do whatever it takes to persevere your spirit and motivation. It doesn't matter how you arrive in your positive space as long as you get there. You will never move forward and heal with negative thoughts. If you pray then pray, if you meditate then meditate whatever you need to do to arrive at your space of positivity and peaceful thought without this inner strength of self you will lose a battle that may well be saving your life. Connect with who you are, and make friends with you, and love you and who you have become, and who you will be. Move forward survive persevere and remain steadfast. You will keep your spirit alive, and in turn your spirit will reward you with inner peace, and inner love that projects outward to the world. Move forward and you will survive and so will your spirit.


Friday, September 5, 2014

Cooking Together

Bill and I are like peas and carrots.
Sometimes we are tossed in a bubbling stew, and others times we end up in a cozy warm pot pie surrounded by crust, and sometimes we  just enhance the dish!!