So What

I woke this morning!! It sounds simple to some but for others like myself (with chronic illness) it's the greatest victory in our journey of wellness.

Sometimes our simplest task are tiresome and daunting. I know first hand at the frustration of not being able to accomplish what the heart is willing to do.  I've had to learn to take my time and not rush. "It will get done when it gets done" is my new mantra, and it is helping me adjust. Letting go of the rush of hurrying along all the time, has relieved some stress.

I had to say the "the  hell with it" and " so what"!! Let it go (now that song is stuck in my head). It's been a freeeing process of not having that burden on me to rush everything to completion. "So what" if there is a dish in the sink, "so what" if there is dirty towel on the floor, "so what" if I don't want to cook! It all eventually will get done when I get to it.....and that's ok!

With hope all things are possible, with faith everything is manageable, and with love everything will prosper.

When you feel passion, embrace it.
When you feel madness embrace it.

Then you know the difference.

Taking A Break

I've had a rough week. I'm not even going to try to "sugar coat it" for you, it sucked. I have been trying to express my feelings in writing but every time I write it down it either sounds like a pity party or  like I have just regurgitated a fucking Hallmark card. The simple truth is I got another diagnosis, this time a ovarian cyst. Not a big deal I know but just another item on the ever growing list that has become my life. I'm being strong and all that positive shit, but let me tell you something it is fucking hard.

People always tell me that I'm strong and they could never do what I do. That kinda puts me on some kind of a pedestal that I feel I have to stay on so I don't let everyone down, and honestly I'm just fucking tired. I'm just ready for a break, just a reprive from my life for a moment. I don't have a endless supply of possitivity, I have to refill it with my own soul and spirit. I pray meditate and tend my soul to keep it full but even that is not enough at times.

Don't let your condition define you, well when you have CON DI TIONSSS its hard not too. Clearly I have some work to do. My entire job is taking care of myself, and sometimes I fall short. My life defines me and my issues define me just as your career as a artist,  teacher or countless other jobs would define you. My life is my career, my livelihood and my reality, and I make mistakes. There is no school for my career, no guide book no steps to follow and no degree. Its just perseverance and survival. So the question everyday that I ask myself  is "do you want to keep fighting for your life?" AND EVERYDAY I ANSWER YES. I will keep answering yes everyday till I don't want to fight any longer. Make no mistake I value every single moment and every second I have and I'm thankful for them all. But its hard and standing on that pedestal of strength, well sometimes I need to sit down, I'm not giving up I just taking a break  I'm not sitting on the ledge thinking everyday wheather or not  I should jump on the contrary  I'm sitting on ledge watching the sunrise and just taking a fucking break

Driven by knowledge

nurtured by hope

fed by optimism

In Time

In times of sadness I find joy
In times of pain I find healing
In times of grief I find peace
In times of love I find passion
In times of fear I find strength
In times of war I find compassion
In times of hunger I find sustenance
...and in time I will find purpose, in time I'll find meaning, in time I'll find you

Ebola and Transplant

The outbreak of Ebola Virus Disease or (EVD) has raised many concerns in the medical community regarding transplant and the risk of contamination during transplantation. The thought of potential donor coming in contact with the transplant recipient is frightening. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) recommendations have been issued to the Organ Procurement Network (OPN) and to the transplant centers as well as The United Network of Organ Sharing or (UNOS), and although the risk of contamination by an undiagnosed individual is low it has not been studied.  As a result the CDC has recommended that EVD screening be included in evaluation of potential donors. The OPO's should also consider travel as a factor in evaluation, partly due to the the 21 incubation period of EVD.  If you would like more inforrmation on this topic you can visit unos.org or cdc.gov