Fear

Yesterday  I wrote about a positive attitude. Today I wanted to discuss fear, the fear we face during adversity. When I first became ill at the young age of ten with type1 diabetes, I was terrified and frightened beyond belief. the fears I had were very intense, and it started gradually after I began to realize what was happening to me and what type1 diabetes actually was. After my shocking diagnosis I was bombarded with information, facts, techniques for administering insulin, statistics. This is where the fear started to play a huge roll in my life. I became paralyzed with it and it soon started to rule my life.

I became afraid to sleep at night because my blood sugar may get too low and I may die in my sleep. I became sleep deprived and started sleeping in class at school. I also became very afraid of taking insulin without my doctor telling my mother how much to administer. I didn't trust anyone at t6his point in my life. The fear of dying had become my driving force.

Mortality is a big topic for a ten year old to grasp, I mean who wants to deal with that? I had to though, and when I finally faced my fear of dying only then did I start to live!

This is where my faith in God came into play, I decided that if God wants me then he is gonna take me and there is nothing I can do about that. I prayed for strength and guidance, and it got me through. Then I started to deal with my fear and  as time went on I became less and less afraid of death. Because when it comes down to it....it is not a question of dying ( because we all will sooner or later) it is a question of living and how to live the best life possible.

I try to live each day without fear,although sometimes I still get afraid, but that is ok, because it doesn't rule my life anymore!!